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Thread: Blackjack and Surgery

  1. #1
    Boz's Avatar
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    Default Blackjack and Surgery

    So I wanted a rhinoplasty to take car of this bump. "It's obstructing my breathing," I claim, hoping it's not obvious what my game is. So my doctor schedules me for a septoplasty, since it's covered by insurance. I don't even know what that means until i'm 5 minutes from going under. Did my act work? Probably not. But it probably did convey: I'm cool with you making shit up and breaking my face if you have to, just fix that thing.

    So I wake up and am high as fuck. I accuse the nurse of at least knowing someone who steals anesthesia, because it is good shit. During that time of only semi-lucidity, I recall brazenly admitting I abuse drugs. Then I calm down as the pain hits. On the third attempt, I convince them to give me morphine. The pain evaporates.

    I'm there alone, and by now they have asked me about 50 times how I'm getting home. "I have to call my sister when I'm ready to go," I have dutifully replied each time. But they aren't letting me go that easy. They tell me I can't walk out, they have to take me in a wheelchair. So I get ready, and hit the button. They come and ask if my sister is there. I say, she said she's 10 minutes out. "We can't take you down and wait for her. Call us when she's here." Epic fail. But I'm not panicked. A nurse is attending to another patient behind the curtain. I start having a conversation with MYSELF, just loud enough for her to overhear. The gist of it was very non-obvious, and was about how I have no idea how to find the parking lot. After I ended my fake phone call, I just stood there, frozen in indecision. Thankfully, the nurse who overheard my conversation came and asked if my ride was there. "Why yes, she is." So the nurse goes and gets another nurse to wheel me out. I thought about trying to escape, but I didn't want to arouse suspicions. Finally, a young, "I don't care about my job" nurse came to wheel me out. And I was smiling, as I already knew that I couldn't have asked for a better mark. So we get to the main entrance and she asks if I see my ride. I say, hold on let me call. This time I did call my sister. She answers and I say, "Where are you parked?" Although she was aware that she might get called by the hospital and instructed to lie, she is confused and answers, "What are you talking about? You told me not to come!" I swing my head right and reply, "Where? OK. Oh, I see where you are, alright." I got up from the wheelchair before the nurse could object, waved her farewell, and well yeah.

    The blackjack table is where you refine those types of acting skills. Or pulling confidence tricks on senior citizens, but I don't do the latter. They should make it against the law to drive all fucked up on morphine, don't you think?
    Last edited by Boz; August 2nd, 2016 at 04:49 PM.

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    That's a story Boz. I didn't know you did those things. It's kinda crazy because I was thinking about a Counselor and a hospital scene just yesterday, no shit. Well I'm glad that your doing better.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Blitzkrieg View Post
    That's a story Boz. I didn't know you did those things. It's kinda crazy because I was thinking about a Counselor and a hospital scene just yesterday, no shit. Well I'm glad that your doing better.

    Thanks, Blitz. Just FYI, when I say rhinoplasty, you might think major nose job. It wasn't; what I wanted was very minor. But it's still not cheap, and not worth the cost. What I got was definitely more expensive, and I fortunately don't have to care.

    Pretty good movie. I definitely got a streak of Sean Penn's character in me.
    Last edited by Boz; August 2nd, 2016 at 06:47 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Boz View Post
    Thanks, Blitz. Just FYI, when I say rhinoplasty, you might think major nose job. It wasn't; what I wanted was very minor. But it's still not cheap, and not worth the cost. What I got was definitely more expensive, and I fortunately don't have to care.

    Pretty good movie. I definitely got a streak of Sean Penn's character in me.
    So you got cosmetic surgery performed on your nose right? Carlito's Way is a good movie, I like it. Your not alone as far as driving messed up on medicine, there's probably millions of people here in the U.S. that are driving while messed up on oxy's and hydros in which their pharmacist hooked them up legally, and that's not counting the drunks out on the road. Personally I don't know why people abuse them other than being hooked on them.
    Last edited by Blitzkrieg; August 2nd, 2016 at 07:22 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Blitzkrieg View Post
    So you got cosmetic surgery performed on your nose right? Carlito's Way is a good movie, I like it. Your not alone as far as driving messed up on medicine, there's probably millions of people here in the U.S. that are driving while messed up on oxy's and hydros in which their pharmacist hooked them up legally.
    Basically.

    Yeah, I thought it was pretty good too.

    You have to really game them to drive home after surgery though. They were telling me I couldn't drive for 3 days. I'm thinking "Yeah, I'm sure. I'll be sure to never drive again just so you can't ever get sued. Fuck you." They escort you outside, and they want to see you get in the car. You got to play them to get away. I wonder what would have happened if they'd have caught me? Turn a blind eye? Called me in to the cops? Would I have pussed out and called for a ride? Who knows.

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    Cool story bro ​You bore.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Boz View Post
    accuse the nurse of at least knowing someone who steals anesthesia, because it is good shit.
    Are you referring to ketamine?
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    Quote Originally Posted by zengrifter View Post
    Are you referring to ketamine?

    I have no idea. I was euphoric and pain-free, but it wore-off in short order. They gave me morphine later. It took away the pain for quite awhile, and no euphoria. So no clue.

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